


Catfish: The Steve and Darcy edition

by Katefkndoes



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Catfish AU, F/M, I regret everything about this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2466125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katefkndoes/pseuds/Katefkndoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce and Tony front an MTV show called Catfish.  Their aim is to bring people together with their online loves.</p>
<p>If you've seen the TV show, you already know how this is going to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catfish: The Steve and Darcy edition

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of an usual format for me. So I'm not completely convinced it works. However, I actually finished it, so I might as well post.

**[Voiceover]**

_Hi, I’m Bruce._

**[Photos of young Bruce flash over the screen.]**

_A couple of years ago, I fell in love online.  Turns out my crush, wasn’t who I thought she was.  I thought I fell in love with Betty, but Betty was really Natasha.  I was heartbroken.  But the weirdest part of it?  Natasha and I actually became friends.  Not only that my filmmaker friend recorded the whole thing and made a documentary that was a pretty big hit.  Suddenly, my inbox was exploding with emails._

**[Video clip]**

“When I saw your movie Catfish, I couldn’t believe the similarities.”

**[Voiceover].**

_It seemed like everyone on the internet wanted to tell me about their bizarre online relationships.  So we decided to make a show of it.  I’m headed on the road with my filmmaker buddy Tony and a crew from MTV to help people meet their online loves in person for the first time._

**[Various clips of other subjects of the show.]**

_Was the person they’d fallen for telling the truth, or hiding behind lies?  Will they find love?  Or heartache?  No matter what happens, we’re here to solve the mystery.  Catfish: The Movie was my story, Catfish: The TV show is yours._

**[Roll credits, which consist of a lot of shots of text messages and email communications.]**

 

**[Interior hotel room.]**

 

“Oooh, I think we have one.”  Bruce looks up from his trusty Macbook, and upon Tony’s rather exaggerated acknowledgement begins to read from his latest pre-selected email.  “Hi Bruce, I’m Darcy and I really need your help.  I met Steve on a Livejournal community almost ten years ago, and we have been talking ever since, but we have yet to meet in person.”  Tony raises an eyebrow, but reframes from making any derogatory comments; evidently the bosses at MTV had berated him once again for his inflammatory remarks.  Bruce continues to read the email as Tony points his camcorder at the open email on the screen.  “I know it sounds weird, but he’s always been there for me and I feel like we have a real connection.  My friends tease me all the time, because they think I’m too invested in someone I’ve never met, and have voiced some very reasonable concerns that he might be hiding something.”  Bruce pauses again and looks a tony, who does comment this time.

“She sounds like she has concerns herself,” Tony states, following their usual pattern of dealing with emails, Bruce nods in mute agreement before he continues to read.

“But every man I meet I compare to him, and none of them come close.  I don’t think I’ll be able to move on with my life until I know for sure whether or not we have a real chance at making it go.  I _really_ need your help.”  Bruce finishes reading and after a short pause offers his own opinion.  “She definitely sounds like she’s got a level head on her.”

“But ten years is a long time without a face to face.”  Tony says, playing his, somewhat muted, abrasive self.  Bruce pulls a face.

“But no one would keep up a relationship after ten years if there weren’t real feelings involved.”  Tony scrunches his nose and shrugs his shoulders in an obvious dismissal. 

“But that doesn’t mean he’s telling her the truth,” Tony says.

“Well, let’s see if we can get her on video chat to explain.”

 

**[Cut to an image of FaceTime dialing on the MacBook screen.]**

 

“Bruce, Tony.  Hi.”  A youthful brunette grins into the camera, her long wavy hair clipped back under a burgundy beanie.  “How are you guys?”  She’s almost too cheery in the way that people who know they’re going to be on television often are, but isn’t overly obnoxious with it.

“Wow, you’re young.”  Tony says, holding his compact camera up to the computer screen, and receiving a sharp elbow to the ribs from Bruce.  “What?”  He looks back at his friend and rubs his free hand across his targeted ribs.  “She’s what twenty-five?  She _is_ young to have been speaking to someone online for ten years.  It’s a statement of fact, there’s nothing derogatory about it.”  Bruce opens his mouth to speak, but the young brunette merely coughs, reminding them of her presence.

“I’m twenty-four.”  She states, raising an eyebrow in a silent challenge to Tony, who shrugs.

“So you’ve been speaking to him since you were in High School?”  She nods onscreen, but doesn’t make any further comment.  “And he’s older than you, right?”  Bruce asks, glancing at Tony.  Darcy nods again, although the smile slides from her face, and it’s clear she’s not happy with what she feels is being insinuated.

“He’ll be twenty-eight in July as I’m twenty-five in June.”  It comes across as defensive, and the two amateur sleuths exchange charged looks.  “It’s not like he’s some sort of pedophile.  Things didn’t even get… to that level until after his first tour of duty in Afghanistan.  And trust me when I say that…”

“Woah, so he’s a soldier?”  Tony says, cutting over her potential rant.  “That’s new information.”  Even through the poor quality webcam image it’s a blatant ‘well-duh’ look that Darcy shoots him.

“No, he was just over there for a holiday.”  She snipes back, and Bruce grins at her through the camera, evidently impressed that Tony may have finally met his match.  Tony merely turns the camera to himself and huffs audibly by way of a response.  “Listen, guys, I just really need your help.  I – uh – would trust him with my life, but I don’t know if I’d recognize him if he was right next to me.  My best friend thinks I’m insane for putting so much into this relationship, but she doesn’t know him like I do.  I just need some closure one way or another; I can’t keep living for the idea of him.  If it’s not meant to be, then I need to find someone else.”  She sighs, but looks expectantly at her computer screen.

“So, you feel like this… relationship has affected your real-world relationships.”  Bruce asks, vaguely stunted.  Darcy sighs again, and rubs her hand over her jaw before she answers.

“I guess so,” she says slowly, reluctantly.  “But that’s mainly because every other man I’ve liked has ended up being a dick,” she smiles slightly.  “Steve said he doesn’t understand why I keep going for such assholes.”

“So you talk to him about other man you’re in a relationship with?”  Bruce’s voice is soft, probing without sounding judgmental.

“Well, not so much anymore.  I kind-of, just assumed that we were exclusive since we started, uh.”  She tucks a stay strand of hair behind her ear and shrugs.  “I guess I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone other than him,” she admits with another sigh.

“Well, I think we should come down and meet you.  And, hopefully, see if we can get you some sort of resolution.”  Bruce says, but his voice is louder than it needs to be in the small hotel room.

“Thanks,” she grins.  “I guess I’ll see you in a few days.”  She signs off and leaves the two presenters to discuss their meeting.

“I’m worried that she’s going to be devastated if he’s not who he says he is.  I mean, it _is_ a concern that she’s been talking to him for so long and it sounds like she’s never really tried to push the issue of meeting him.”  Tony nods in agreement, mainly for the benefit of the audience.  “It seems like she’s built her life around the guy, and I don’t want to see her crushed if he’s not who he claims to be.”  Bruce finishes with a dramatic flourish.

“I think she’s ready to move on with her life if that’s the case.”  Tony says.  “She’s seems like a strong woman.”  Bruce smirks, and even Tony cracks a smile.  It’s obvious they both life her.

“She certainly is.”  Bruce laughs slightly.  “And, I mean, whoever this Steve is, it’s pretty obvious that he cares about her.  And I think she needs to meet him,” Bruce says wisely.

“Agreed.  And I think we’re just the people she needs to get to the bottom of this for her,” Tony says confidently.

 

**[Montage of Bruce and Tony taking the plane from LA to New Mexico.  Shots of Tony riding through the terminal on a luggage trolley, interspersed with Bruce asleep and drooling on the plane.]**

 

Darcy’s door is bright red, with a big gold knocker in the center. 

“Nice paint job,” Tony comments as he pulls up his camera and knocks on the door.  A familiar and very pretty girl answers the door, with her long hair hanging free around her shoulders and drawing both Tony and Bruce’s eyes down to her amble cleavage for just a moment.

“Hey,” she says, popping her hand to her hip and jutting her chin slightly, dragging their attention back to her face.  Bruce, for his part, looks slightly ashamed, but she grins quickly at him and he smiles gratefully.

“Hey, it’s good to meet you.”  Bruce steps forward and hugs her, instantly reliving any awkwardness, and when he pulls back she pulls Tony into a hug.

“Let’s step into my office,” she laughs and leads them through to her shockingly sparse front room into kitchen and offers them each a seat at the breakfast bar.

“So, let’s talk about Steve.”  Bruce grins, foregoing any preamble and Darcy merely laughs self-consciously.

“Yeah, so it’s a bit of a long story.”  She says, with a likeable smile towards the camera, but nervously tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Don’t worry; we’ve got plenty of time.”  Tony smiles, evidently having warmed to the girl even more since he’d got a look at her from the neck down.

“It all started when I joined the ONTD Politics group on Livejournal.”  Tony mouths the word Livejournal to Bruce and Darcy merely laughs.  “I know, right?  Anyway, Steve – Spangled_Man – was kind of a BNF on there and I was just a lowly fourteen-year-old who was looking for a place to share my – obviously under developed – ramblings.”  She smiles again, and runs a hand through her once tidy hair.

“And he took you under his wing?”  Bruce asks softly, and Tony follows the exchange with the camera.

“Hell no!”  She laughs, eyes sparkling at the memory, and her anxiety dissipating somewhat.  “We spent a year arguing with each other over everything.  Literally, everything.  We once had a three day long argument about the men’s swin team performance in the Olympics and what that meant for the Nation’s social conscience.”  Tony laughs and Bruce merely shakes his head.  Darcy shrugs.  “I was fourteen, I should have been more interested in how good they looked in their swimsuits, but I’ve never been a conformist.  Anyway, we pretty much spent that whole first year needling each other.  It was kind-of a running joke on there.”

“I’ve had plenty of relationships like that.  What changed?”  Tony enquires carefully, to progress the exposition.

“I guess we did.  I mean, Steve was graduating High School and going off to college and I was a lowly Sophomore.  He probably thought he should be above _debating_ with a child.”  She threads her fingers together an pauses for a moment before she continues her story.  “We carried on speaking for a while after that, but it was much friendlier.  I guess we both mellowed out in our burgeoning maturity.  Or, at least, he did.  I kept picking fights at every opportunity.”  Another small smile passes over her features.

“You know, somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”  Tony comments and Darcy merely arches an eyebrow.  She lets Tony swallow and open his mouth to offer an apology before her face dissolves into an amused smile.

“I’ve never been one for the quiet life,” she shrugs and Tony smirks somewhat lewdly in response.

“So, have you ever even talked about meeting up?”  Bruce asks, turning the subject back to Steve.

“Sure, we used to talk about it fairly often.”  Both of the presenters look at each other.  They have seen this story many times, those guilty of lying found many excuses to cancel a first meeting.  “The closest we ever came was right at the beginning.  We were supposed to meet up when my family and I had to go to my cousin’s wedding in New York State.  But, uh,” she rubs a hand across her face and shifts uncomfortably on her stool.  It’s obviously not a topic she wishes to discuss in much detail.  “His mom got sick and, uh, she passed away, so I didn’t get a chance to see him.”  Tony and Bruce exchange a concerned look.  “And I know that sounds like some sort-of a line, but when he called me, he was just… cut up.”  She lets out a shaky breath; the memory is obviously a painful one.  She pulls out her phone, taps the screen a couple of time and offers it to Bruce, who accepts wordlessly.  “He, uh, sent me this picture so I’d recognize him when he met me at the station, but obviously that didn’t happen.”

**[The camera pans to Darcy’s phone screen, which is displaying a picture of a youthful blond boy, with delicate features and a half smile, before** **focusing back on the trio.]**

“After that, we didn’t talk as much.  I guess he got too busy with the real world to be worried about some kid he met on the internet.  But, I didn’t forget him.  Then, around a year later, he friended me on Myspace.  It turned out that he hadn’t gone to college in the end, he went into the military – which is, you know, strange considering how anti-war he was and his asthma and stuff, but he said it gave him purpose.  And I really can’t argue with that,” she shrugs, but it’s clear from her expression that she has her reservations about his story.  “Since then we’ve been speaking fairly regularly – although sometimes, when he’s off on maneuvers or whatever, we can go a few weeks without talking.”

“Is it just online or…” Tony draws his free hand to his ear in the universal gesture for a phone.

“We talk all the time.  I mean, he’s the first person I call whenever I have news.  I called him when I graduated, I called him when I got my internship, and I called him when my sister had her baby.”  She bites her lip and Bruce nods.

“And what about video calling?”  Bruce asks, and Darcy bites her lip.

“To be honest, it’s never really come up.”  Bruce shoots Tony a concerned look.  “It’s – just, we talk on the phone all the time, and we text a lot and send each other links to interesting things online.  And I don’t need to see him to know that he’s there for me.”  She laughs self-deprecatingly.  “That sounds so lame.”

“No, it sounds like you’re in love.”  Bruce comments and Tony coughs loudly as Darcy winkles up her nose, but closes her eyes and nods slightly in agreement.  “And have you spoken about taking the relationship further?”  Darcy laughs again, dragging her hand through her hair again.

“Well sometimes when we, uh, talk on the phone…” she ducks her head, and gestures with her hand in a forward motion.  Bruce doesn’t seem to understand what’s happening but Tony catches on quickly.

“Yeaaaaaaahh….”  Tony drags the word out with a grin on his face while waggling his eyebrows.  Darcy, for her part, blushes and squirms slightly in her seat. 

“This is _so_ embarrassing.”  She mutters.  “I mean, you know, he gets lonely.  And every soldier needs a dame waiting for him to get back home.  I mean it’s practically my civic duty.”  She slaps her hand on the counter, and Bruce stifles a quiet laugh.

“So, uh, why don’t you ring him, and we can… you know, get this whole thing started.”  Bruce says, and Darcy slides her phone off the breakfast bar and selects Steve’s number theatrically for the camera.  It rings twice before a deep voice answers the phone. 

“Hey, Darce.  You okay?”  He asks, as Tony says in a stage whisper.

“ _Hell of a deep voice for such a pretty boy_.”  Bruce elbows him into silence.

“Yeah, I’m great.  I just, uh,” she falters, and Bruce waves for her to continue.  “I was just bored, and wanted to see if you were okay?”  The phone crackles and it’s obvious that Steve is moving the phone.

“I’m great, just got back from a run and I _really_ need a shower.”  He doesn’t sound out of breath and Tony motions to his chest to highlight the issue as Bruce shrugs, his attention focused on Darcy.

“That’s not an unpleasant image.”  Darcy teases with a grin, and there’s a telling silence on the other end of the phone, as though Steve is uncomfortable with her suggestion that he’s attractive, which is a direct contradiction to the fact that they have phone sex.  “What are you doing for the rest of the day?”  She asks, picking up on the tension and trying to change the subject, while sounding natural.

“Not much, packing for my trip to Washington tomorrow and teaching Buck how to use the vacuum,” Darcy smiles at that, and Steve sighs exaggeratedly, “which, is probably a lost cause.  But you know me; I’m a sucker for punishment.  How about you?”  Darcy almost drops the phone, evidently not having prepared a suitable answer.

“Nothing, nothing, just checking in.”  She sounds flustered, even to Bruce’s untrained ears, so he motions for her to take a deep breath and calm down.  She does, but only ends up breathing down the phone.

“Darce, is something wrong?”  Steve’s disembodied voice asks softly on loud speaker, concern coating every syllable.  “You know you can tell me anything, right?  I’ll always be here for you.”

“So why won’t you meet up with me?”  She asks, suddenly bitter, and Tony’s hand jumps out to clasp Bruce’s shoulder.

“It’s….” Steve starts but Darcy cuts him off.

“Complicated, I know.  But it’s strange to think that we’ve known you for so long and we’ve never met.  Not even once.  I just…” she tails off with a sigh and a pained look towards Tony’s camera.

“It’ll happen, sweetheart.  I promise.  I just can’t right now, because once I have you in my arms I’m never going to let you go.”  Tony raises an eyebrow.  “Love you, Darce.”

“Love you too.”  She says reflexively.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”  He asks, with nothing but affection.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”  She glances to Bruce who nods.  “Like I said, I was just checking in.”  Steve is quiet on the other end for a moment.

“If you need anything, just give me a call.”

“I will. Speak soon.”

“Bye, Darce.”  Steve says, and the line goes dead.  Darcy sighs, and drops her phone onto the table with a dull thud.

“It seems like that’s a conversation you’ve had a few times,” Bruce states, more for the camera’s benefit than his own.  Darcy nods in a solemn response.

“He’s my best friend in many ways, but…” she sighs, once again dragging her hand through her hair.  The action is clearly one of her nervous ticks.

“Sometimes the voice on the other end of the phone isn’t enough?”  Bruce supplies.  He’s been where she is – although he ended up with a great friend at the end of it, and most people they’ve seen on the show haven’t been so lucky.

“Yeah, I mean, he’s seen me through some tough times.  Like my parent’s divorce and my scumbag ex, and uh, I mean he obviously likes the way I sound, because trust me the things that we say…” she tails off biting her lip and Tony smirks at the camera.  “Well, let’s just call them hot.”  She finishes, pragmatically.  “So why wouldn’t he want to meet me?  What’s he hiding?  I mean, I’d like to think he’s just scared, that I intimidate him or something.”  Tony snorts and Darcy fixes him with an icy stare.  “But why keep talking to me?  I mean, I know he used to get kicked around at school because he wasn’t quarterback material, but High School was ten years ago, so surely he’d be over that by now?  So what isn’t he telling me?”  Darcy’s rant had gotten quicker as it continued, and as she concludes she’s quite out of breath.

“Well, Darcy, it’s time to find out.”  Tony says, with gusto.

 

**[Cut to Bruce and Tony back in their shared hotel room huddled around their MacBook to investigate exactly who Steve is.]**

 

“So, what do we have?”  Bruce asks theatrically, allowing them to reiterate their points in the traditional method used for documenting the search.

“A phone number, couple of email addresses, a defunct Twitter account and a grand total of three photographs – all almost a decade old.”  Tony explains, holding the camera up to the computer as Bruce opens the internet browser.  “It’s not exactly a lot to go on.”

“Well,” Bruce drags his hand across his jaw and turns to look at Tony (and his camera), “if we are to believe what he says, and I’ve got to admit, I do.  We also know that he graduated Abraham Lincoln High School in Brooklyn in 2005 and that his mother died sometime shortly after that.  So I think the best thing to do is see if there is a Steve Rogers who graduated that year.  If there was and their yearbooks are online, we can see if the photo matches up.”

“But that doesn’t prove that it’s Steve who set up the profile, he could be using someone else’s identity,” Tony says for the benefit of the audience. 

“No, but the chance of anyone going to those extremes is pretty slim.”  Bruce replies, drumming his fingers on the MacBook.  “Imposters don’t tend to include such specific details.”

“I say we run a reverse image search and make sure there’s no one else using those photos.”  Tony states, and switches the camera to his other hand.  Bruce nods, and with a few clicks of his mouse does as suggested.

“Well, the reverse image search pulled up no matches for his photos, which is usually a very good sign.  But there’s no Facebook account in his name, and his Twitter account only has four followers, which is usually a cause for concern.  I’ve got to say this one has me stumped.”  Bruce shrugs theatrically.  There’s a certain amount of acting involved in their show, and both of them tend to exaggerate their normal reactions.

“May I?”  Tony asks, and Bruce turns over control of the laptop.  In turn, Bruce takes the camera and Tony starts quickly tapping away on the MacBook.

“Ah ha.”  Tony taps the final key hard as the screen identifies a High School graduate by the name of Steven Rogers, who graduated at the correct time with a place to study at Georgetown majoring in History.  “So that part seems to add up.”  He clicks a few more buttons and pulls up a year book photo of the man in question, sure enough, it’s the same young looking graduate who looks back at them from the computer screen.  “And we have a positive identification; it’s much harder to fake a yearbook than an online profile.”  Bruce nods in agreement.

“We should call the local recruitment agency and see if that part checks out too,” he suggests.

 

**[Cut Bruce on the phone.]**

 

“Hello, my name is Bruce Banner and I’m looking for some information about a friend of mine from school who enlisted in 2005,” Tony raises an eyebrow at the lie but Bruce merely shrugs.  Sometimes it’s easier to lie outright than to be honest and get shot down, and Bruce is certain that the military would have no time for his little TV show.

_What’s his name and I’ll see if I can help you_ , says a chirpy woman on the end of the phone.

“Oh, that’s brilliant thank you.  His name is Steve – Steven Rogers.”

_Let’s see._ There is a pause on the other end of the phone and the sound of the receptionist typing erratically.  _I’m sorry sir but that information is classified._ Bruce blinks a couple of times.

“Uh, can you confirm that a Steve Rogers enlisted in 2005.”  Bruce asks, shocked that they’ve been shot down so quickly.  It wasn’t as though either of them expected to be told a lot of details, but a confirmation seems innocuous enough.

_I’m afraid that’s classified._ Tony looks at Bruce as though that’s all the confirmation they need.

“Could you tell me why a recruit’s enlistment record would be classified?”

_It’s classified._ Bruce closes his eyes and nods in understanding.  Their investigation has effectively been shut down.

“Well, thank you for so much for your help anyway.”  He says as he hangs up the phone.  Tony looks at him for a long moment, before they both shoot a look at their crew.

“My best guess would be that he’s Military Intelligence.”  Tony says after a moment.  His father, Howard, is a well-known defense contractor to the government.  And since he specializes in weapons technology, (the job Tony was born to continue), he has a security clearance of his own.  As such, Tony had spent a great amount of his childhood around military leaders and so the crew defers to his assessment.  “I hate to be the one to say it, but I _really_ don’t think we should poke around any further here.”  He shoots the producer a pointed look, which is enough to cause a murmur of concern.  It’s unlike Tony to be so concerned with the rules.

“I agree.”  Bruce nods.  “I mean, we proved he’s probably telling the truth.”  He shrugs uneasily, trying to get the show back on track.  “I guess maybe he realizes that he comes with a lot of baggage and he doesn’t want to force himself upon her.”  He suggests, but his voice is strained.

“Yeah, or he could have been injured?  That would explain the lack of photos?”  Tony says his voice oddly monotone.  Bruce concedes the point with a solemn nod.

“I think they’ve both been through so much together – I mean they’ve basically grown up together – and he’s probably worried that he can’t live up to her expectations.”  Bruce comments, agreeing with Darcy’s early assessment.

“I think the only way we’re going to get to the bottom of this is by contacting Steve himself.  We need to hear his side of the story.”  Tony parrots, wringing his hands out.

 

**[Cut to the following morning where Bruce has Steve’s number ringing.]**

 

“Hello?”  The same deep voice that answered Darcy the previous day answers the phone on loudspeaker.

“Hi, is that Steve Rogers?”  Bruce asks, as Tony records the interaction on his smartphone.

“Yeah?”  The voice that answers is the very definition of no nonsense.  There’s a certain command to his voice that only serves to prove that he’s from a military background.

“My name is Bruce Banner, I’ve got a show on MTV called Catfish,” he pauses to make sure that Steve understands. 

“Okay,” he replies simply, with no recognition in his voice.

“Do you know a Darcy Lewis?”  He asks, hoping that the mention of the brunette’s name will soften the soldier’s demeanor.  It proves to be a great move.

“Is she okay?”  There’s concern etched in his every word.  “Sorry, yes, I know Darcy.”  He adds after a moment, as though his reaction isn’t confirmation enough.

“Well, she contacted us because of your relationship.  She told us that you’ve known each other almost ten years and have never met,” Bruce pauses again, but Steve doesn’t reply.  “Anyway, we’re here to try and help get you to together.”  Steve takes a deep breath on the other end of the phone.  “Is that something you’d be interested in?”  There’s a snort on the other end of the phone, and it’s pretty obvious that they’re not the only ones who have the call on speaker phone.

“Uh, I…”  Steve begins, before he is cut off and there’s a kafuffle for several moments before Steve speaks again in the distance.  “Hey!  Bucky, give me back my damn phone!”

“Yes, he would absolutely _love_ to meet Darcy.  She’s all he talks ab – oowww.”  There’s some more movement with the phone, and the sound of a door closing before Steve returns.

“Sorry about that,” he apologizes.  “My best friend is a jerk,” he says by way of an explanation.

“I know exactly how you feel,” Bruce shoots a sideways glance at Tony who raises the hand not holding a camera to his chest in mock-hurt.  “So, how about we get your two cute kids together then?”  Steve sighs, which isn’t exactly the positive reaction they’d been looking for.

“Yeah, uh, I guess I kind-of owe her an explanation.”  Tony and Bruce exchange a concerned look.  It’s obvious that they’re worried about the outcome of a meeting where so little information is known, and Darcy is one of the most genuine people they have met all season.

“You still live in Brooklyn, right?”  Bruce asks, hoping to glean a little more information before they arrange the meeting.

“Yeah.”  Steve replies, offering nothing.  Bruce grimaces slightly.

“Okay, brilliant.  We’ll contact you to arrange it soon.”  Bruce says his tone overly cheerful.

“Okay, bye.”  Steve’s reply is clipped, and he hangs up the phone immediately.

“Well that’s not exactly promising,” Tony admits his face concerned, and Bruce mirrors his expression.

 

**[Cut to later that day in the Darcy’s kitchen.]**

 

They’re all sat around a breakfast bar, with huge steaming mugs in front of them.  Darcy’s hands are wrapped around the mug and her glasses are sat slightly lopsidedly on her face.

“So, the good news is that we’ve spoken to Steve and he’s agreed to meet you.”  Bruce says, and Darcy bites her lip and takes a sip of her drink before she answers.

“And the bad news?”  She asks, dragging a hand through her hair - a nervous habit which has been documented several times.

“Well, we ran into some issues and we haven’t been able to confirm who he is.  We _did_ confirm that Steve Rogers did graduate from Abraham Lincoln High School in 2005, and the pictures in the year book are of the same person whose pictures he sent to you.”  Darcy nods.  “But that’s all we’ve got.  We don’t know anything else about him.  And while that doesn’t diminish how much he clearly cares for you, it could still prove to be a nasty surprise,” Bruce says, placing a hand over Darcy’s own.  She looks down at the hand, and then back up to Tony.

“We just want you to be prepared to discover that he’s not who he says he is.  Or, at the very least, he’s not he’s not the same person he was ten years ago.”  Tony says, sensibly.  Normally the cocky brunet would leave Bruce to the comforting, but usually they had much more to go on by this point of the investigation.

“So, what, you’re trying to warn me that he might have gotten fat?  Because really, fat shaming is _so_ 2002.”  She laughs to herself but it doesn’t reach her eyes, and both of the presenters smile kindly in response.

“I mean, I guess that’s a possibility.”  Bruce shrugs.  “But since we’re pretty sure he was telling the truth about being in the military, and you said he’d seen combat…” he trails off.

“So you’re worried about PTSD?”  She asks, and Bruce gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“That’s also a possibility… among other things.”  Tony answers, causing the brunette to snap around to look at him.  “He could have been injured,” he elaborates.

“And do you think that would make a difference to me?”  She asks, raising a fear inducing eyebrow.

“No, uh,” Tony splutters his response, and Bruce laughs when Darcy smiles slightly.  This whole thing has clearly been a rollercoaster for her, and yet she’s still trying to remain upbeat.

“We just want you to be prepared; we’re not used to going into these things with so little information.”  Bruce says kindly.  (It isn’t a lie, since the season one episode where there had nearly been a fist fight between two guests; the producers have the targets vetted before any meeting).

“I’m a big girl,” she says, jutting out her jaw.  “I’ve never been more ready to meet anyone in my life.”  She sighs, biting her lip again.  She’s trying so hard to seem tough, but the cracks are starting to appear.

“Well, let’s get this show on the road.  Are you ready to go to New York?”  Bruce says his voice once more in presenter mode.

“Absolutely.”

 

**[Montage of them running around the airport and pulling faces on the plane.]**

 

**[Cut to a hotel room.]**

 

“So, now I’m a little nervous,” Darcy admits, dragging her hand through her dark waves before lying back on the hotel bed.  Bruce touches her knee in a form of silent comfort.

“Just remember, that we’re on your side.”  He says.

“I mean, I’m sure it’s going to be great… I just – ten years is an awfully long time to wait.  I mean, I’d be crazy to _not_ be worried, right?”  Bruce nods in agreement.  “And hey, if it’s a disaster at least we can go out and get _really_ drunk.”  She says with a small smile and Tony laughs.

“Bruce, I think she’s my favorite yet.”  Tony says as though she isn’t even in the room, but it’s not meant maliciously and Darcy pulls herself up to a seated position to hug him melodramatically.

“Well, it’s now or never,” she says, as they stand up.

 

**[Cut to exterior at a brownstone in Brooklyn.]**

 

“Well, so far so good.”  Bruce says as he takes in the surprisingly big house located in a nice neighborhood.

“Yeah,” Darcy says with a shaky voice.  “It looks exactly how I pictured it.  He shares it with his friend Bucky, but they’re not always around at the same time.  Something to do with work and assignments.”  She speaks quickly, her nerves getting the better of her.  Tony puts an arm around Darcy in an attempt to comfort her.

“Well, here we go.”  Bruce jogs up the four stairs to the door.

“I can’t look.”  Darcy says suddenly, burying her head into Tony’s shoulder as Bruce knocks the door.  It’s promptly opened by a mystery brunet with, what appears to be, a prosthetic arm.  Tony struggles to keep his expression neutral, but his eyebrows seem to knit together of their own accord.  He wasn’t lying when he said that Darcy was his favorite, and both he and Bruce want this story to be one that works out.  However, Steve has never mentioned anything about a missing arm.

“Steve?”  Bruce enquires, sounding as professional as always.

“No, I’m Bucky.  And I’m guessing,” he motions out to the camera crew with his flesh and blood arm, “that you’re Bruce.”  Bruce nods.  “Steve’s a little nervous so I’m here as a human buffer.  Not exactly the first time that’s happened,” he waves his prosthetic arm towards the cameras and Tony can’t help but smirk despite the inappropriateness of the situation, “but these are much more pleasant circumstances.”  Bruce grins, obviously relieved.  The very last thing they needed was an incident with a war vet.

“So do you think we could see Steve?”  He asks.

“Well that would depend,” Bucky sing-songs, “what’s the magic word?”  Bruce’s face falters slightly.

“Please?”  He replies, dragging out the word, and Bucky rolls his eyes before looking past the other man to where Darcy has pulled her face away from Tony’s shoulder and is watching the scene unfold.

“Darcy?  What the magic word?”  Darcy blinks at Tony, as though he has the answer, before the spark of recognition dawns on her.

“Pumpkin Pie.”  She says, with no hint of a doubt.

“That’s two words,” Tony points out.

“That’s the password.”  Bucky grins, completely ignoring Tony.  “Sorry dollface, can’t be too careful.  You can pretend to be anyone online these days, and I don’t want little Stevie getting hurt.”  Tony and Bruce exchange perplexed looks as Bucky retreats into the building to the bewilderment of all of the waiting party.  When he returns few moments later there’s someone behind him, hidden in the darkness of the entrance hall.  “Gentlemen, and lady,” he winks at Darcy, “may I introduce Stevie Rogers, international man of mystery and completely inept dater.”

“Don’t be such a dick,” comes a familiar voice, which, thankfully, is attached to a somewhat recognizable face.  His jaw is more squared off, and the five o’clock shadow ages him somewhat, but it’s the same blue eyes that cameras capture, and there’s no doubt that this is the man the boy in the photo became.  There are some differences, of course, chief among them being the expansive shoulders which tapered down to a sculpted chest and tiny waist.  Darcy blinks several times, trying to see the boy she had expected in the man before her.  Ten years, it seemed changed a hell of a lot.

“Holy shit, someone call Pepper.  Tell her I’ve met my exception,” Tony is the first to speak, his comment is aimed at the crew.  Bruce keeps alternating before giving his co-star a dirty look, and flat out gawping at the man before him.  Tony isn’t wrong; the guy is absurdly good-looking.

Steve pays no attention to anyone other than Darcy.  He slips past Bruce and descends the stairs two at a time with a grace that belies his bulk to stop in front of Darcy.  He fidgets awkwardly for several seconds, while Darcy bites her bottom lip and Tony outright _stares._   He shakes his head slightly, evidently to draw himself out of whatever world he’d slipped into, before he draws Darcy in for a brief hug.  They separate quickly, and he drags a large hand through his close cropped hair, causing it to spike up at odd angles.  Darcy, to her eternal credit, keeps her mouth shut.  Instead, she pulls off her glasses, wipes them on her coat sleeves and replaces them.  With her vision tested, she blinks several times in disbelief.

“Hi,” he says with an awkward smile, and then pushes his hand through his hair once again, and drags it over his stubble covered face.

“Uh, hi,” Darcy says, still struck dumb.  Steve’s smile practically lights up his face, and Tony practically squeaks.  “So you didn’t get fat, then?”  Darcy muses out loud and one of the camera crew snorts out a laugh.

“No…” Steve turns to look at Bruce, who just shrugs.

“But you did get like, _super_ , ripped?”  Darcy tentatively reaches up to touch his bicep.

 “Uh,” the blond shrugs, and the light blue Henley strains to contain his muscles as the blush begins to speak across his face. 

“And apparently you can’t take a compliment.”  She says, taking a step towards him, her hand trailing down his arm.  She bites back a smile, and looks at him seriously.  “And you’re not a serial killer, right?”

“No?”  Steve says, somewhat uncertainly, cocking his head to one side and briefly breaking eye contract to glance at Tony as though he expects the man to explain.  However, Tony only grins him the thumbs up and a massive grin.

“And you’ve been telling me the truth?”  Darcy’s hand plays with his little finger and she looks up at him with wide eyes.

“I told you, I don’t like liars.  I meant everything I said.”  He confirms, stepping closers to her.  Darcy brings her free hand up to his chest, before turning to towards Tony.

“Best.  Day.  Ever.”  She says straight down Tony’s camera with a grin, before she turns to kiss Steve. 

It takes the blond a couple of moments to get with the program, but he pulls her off the ground, forcing their bodies even closer together.  Tony raises his eyebrow, and purses his lips before nodding, and Bruce gives the camera crew and emphatic thumbs up.  Bucky, who has remained silent since he made Steve introduction, is grinning from ear to ear.

 

**[Cut to all five of them sat in Steve’s lounge.]**

 

Bruce, Tony and Bucky are sat somewhat awkwardly on the three seat sofa, while Darcy is practically sat on Steve’s lap on the mismatched armchair.  If anyone has any concerns about the appropriateness of the seating arrangement, they have remained silent on the matter.  Steve’s hand rests on Darcy’s hip, rubbing circles with his index finger.  And Darcy has her arm around his shoulders, her hand idly playing with the short hair at the back of his head.

“So, uh, I’ve gotta ask.  Why the hell has it taken so long to make this happen?”  Bruce asks, from his position on the end of the sofa nearest the arm chair, leaving Tony occupy the middle, much to his obvious discomfort.

“It’s, uh, been complicated.  It didn’t seem appropriate to meet up with a High School student when I was heading off into the army.  And then after… it’s… my job is complicated.  There’s a lot I can’t say, I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t even be on camera,” he admits.  Bruce looks at Tony who mutters something about Special Forces, and Bruce swallows.

“Yeah, we came across several road blocks when we looked into you.”  He admits, regaining his composure.  “You don’t have to explain, it’s classified for a reason.”  Steve nods gratefully.  “However, that doesn’t really explain the lack of photos, or video chats, or even the lack of willingness to meet up in recent years.”  Bruce is playing devil’s advocate and they all know it, but that doesn’t stop the slight quaver in his voice.  For all that Steve seems like a great guy, it doesn’t pay to piss off a guy who looks like he could snap you in two.

“I, uh.  I guess that I was just worried she would be disappointed.”  Steve says, shifting position and taking Darcy with him.

Tony makes a pained noise, to which Bucky replies, “I wish he was kidding.”  Darcy gleefully pats Steve’s chest and turns so that she is curled on his lap and a deep blush spreads up from the top of Steve’s shirt across his face.

“Yeah, I can understand that,” Bruce says in the least convincing manner ever.  And even Tony looks at him like he’s gone insane.

“It’s just a lot to deal with, and there aren’t a lot of people in my life.  I didn’t want to lose one of the only people who actually understood me.”  Steve explains.

“But you consider yourself to be in a committed relationship?”  Bruce asks, and Darcy turns to look at Steve, who looks back, a small smile on his lips.

“Absolutely.”  Steve answers with no preamble, and Darcy kisses his forehead.

“And, have you, uh, been faithful.”  Bruce blushes at his own question, while Tony and Bucky chuckle to themselves.  In a different lifetime, the duo would probably have been firm friends.  Darcy looks at Steve with big eyes and when Steve answers there’s gravity to his tone which could only have come from leadership experience.

“I take my promises seriously.  To me it was every bit as real as if she was in my arms.”  Darcy kisses him again, this time on the lips.

“So, uh, what I suggest is that we leave you two crazy kids to it and we all get together tomorrow and see how everything’s going.”  Bruce says for the cameras and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“I’m willing to bet it will be going _really_ well.  I’m sure all parties will be equally satisfied.”  Tony practically leers and receives the stink eye from Bruce in retaliation.  But Bucky dissolves in a fit of giggles, which seems a direct contrast to his injured form.  Apparently the guy has some serious coping skills.

 

**[Cut to the following morning back in the hotel.]**

Bruce knocks on Darcy’s door.  She opens it with a massive smile on her face, and her dark hair clipped back off her face.  Bruce playfully tries to see if there is anyone behind her.

“Can I come in?  Or do you have company?”  He says, bobbing his tongue out between his teeth.  Darcy laughs slightly before dragging her hand to her chest.

“I’ll have you know I’m not that kind of girl,” she says in mock indignation.  “But, you know, I felt I owed it to myself to test the hardware.”  There’s the sound of Tony choking back a laugh as Darcy directs them into the room.  The camera follows them, at which point Tony appears to set up the camera for their interview.

“So, how was it?”  Tony says, a smirk toying at his lips.  And Bruce rolls his eyes.

“You know it was pretty good,” Darcy almost giggles.

“Oh pretty good, was it?”  Bruce asks teasingly.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d say incredible really.  Probably the best I’ve ever had… pizza that is.”  She smiles and both of the presenters laugh. 

“And is he what you expected?”  Bruce asks, although it’s obvious that he’s only asking for the benefit of the audience.  To say it had been a shock when Steve had appeared tall, blond, tanned and gorgeous was a little bit of an understatement.  Darcy laughs at the question regardless.

“You know, he was.”  She shrugs.  “I mean, not…” she gestures up and down her body, “all that.  But being with him felt so natural.  You’d think it would have been awkward, but no… nothing.  Any, you know, obviously, he’s, like, _crazy_ hot.”  She smiles.  “Which, helps.  Although, I don’t think I’d ever have had the guts to speak to someone who looked like him if they weren’t my best friend,” she shrugs.  “But it isn’t like he’s intimidating with it.  He’s just as sweet in person as he is on the phone.”

“I can practically see the love hearts in your eyes,” Bruce comments and Darcy actually blushes.  “So, and this seems like a moot point, but do you think you’ll see each other again?”  He almost laughs as he asks.

“Oh, definitely.  But, he’s let me know a little bit about what he does, and, uh,” she drags her hand through her hair, grimacing when she reaches one of the clips.  “It’s… intense.”  Tony raises a questioning eyebrow but she merely shakes her head.  “You don’t wanna know, and I _really_ can’t talk about it,” she says, although obviously that only makes the brunet even more interested.  “I feel as though we’re both committed to making this in work.”  She grins.  “I mean, I’m excited, I couldn’t have imagined things would go this well.”  She admits.

“You sound serious about the future of the relationship.”  Bruce comments.

“You have seen him right?”  Tony snorts.

“See, this is why you’re my favorite.  If anyone had to have a secret hottie, I’m glad it was you,” he sighs, and Darcy mouths the word ‘hottie’ at the camera in disgust.

“I think, what Tony is trying to say, is that we’re happy that you’re happy.  And hopefully, this will be the start of a new life for the pair of you.”  Bruce says, effectively ending the conversation. 

“I think it will.”  She grins at the camera.

 

**[Cut to another hotel room two months later.]**

 

Bruce and Tony huddle around the soft glow of their MacBook.

“Bruce, Tony, heeeey.”  Darcy says waving at the camera with Steve.

“So, are we to take it that things are going well then?”  Bruce asks, and the two lovers look at each other for a moment.

“Yeah, actually, it’s going _very_ well. In faaaact,” Darcy drags out the word, and looks at Steve for confirmation.  When he nods, she grins at the camera in excitement.  “We have some news.”  She raises her left hand towards the camera to reveal a big diamond engagement ring.  Bruce and Tony both make excited noises of acknowledgment.

“Oh my GOD!”  Bruce actually claps his hands together.  “You two are getting married?”  Darcy and Steve laugh, before Steve nods.

“I figured I’d kept her waiting long enough.”  He says.

“Oh Bruce,” Tony comments, wiping a fake tear from his eye.  “Our first Wedding.”  He sniffs in an exaggerated manner only to receive a laugh from Bruce.

“You can be our guests of honor,” Darcy promises and Steve nods in agreement.

“I’m already writing my wedding speech,” Tony promises, and Darcy and Steve exchange a vaguely scared look.

“Ignore him; he’s just really happy that you found each other.”  Bruce explains, and Tony raises his eyebrows before nodding in response.  “You really do make an amazing couple, though.”

“We like to think so,” Darcy confirms with an exaggerated wink.

“We’re both really happy for you,” he adds.  “And good luck for the future.”

“Thanks, guys” the couple say at the same time.

“One last kiss for the cameras?”  Tony asks, motioning to his compact camera.

“Sure,” Darcy says, and they kiss quickly.  “Bye guys,” she waves at them through the computer screen, and the video chat ends.

“Definitely the best episode of the series,” Tony says as he leans back on the bed.  “Gotta love a happy ending.”  Bruce nods in agreement, because there’s nothing else left to say.


End file.
